Mario Lopez's IMDB profile will tell you he was born on October 10, 1973.

... But we've got other theories. 

If you've followed Lopez since his A.C. Slater days on "Saved By the Bell," you've undoubtedly also noticed one highly suspicious physical attribute — quite simply, that the man has never aged. Are we supposed to just believe that he has incredible genes that keep him looking flawless and youthful forever? Or, has Lopez been hiding a terrifying, life-shattering secret — that he's actually a vampire? 

Let's explore the evidence:


"Young" Lopez raised no suspicions whilst playing A.C. Slater.

We'd only just met him, after all.


But then he "grew up" and didn't change at all.

Well preserved, except for losing the unfortunate mullet. 


Be honest: if it wasn't for the grainy texture of this photo and the fact that Ryan Seacrest is not donning hipster-approved specs, you'd think this photo was taken yesterday.

THIS IS VERY SUSPICIOUS. What's got Lopez's attention? His next victim? I mean, dinner?


Hm. Looks like he needs to keep the curtains drawn to keep the sunlight out.

Naturally, he's a creature of the night and his delicate vampire skin needs continuous breaks from the sun's rays.


His own daughter loses a tooth, and he's out here celebrating?

He's probably hoping his offspring grows in some razor sharp fangs.


Just like "Twilight"'s Edward Cullen, he steps in the sunlight and starts to shimmer.

Giving him a highlight even Jeffree Star would be envious of.


He always maintains his bronze complexion; proving that Latino vampires do, in fact, exist.


A leaked photo from his middle school days.



It's so not a coincidence that Lopez is a huge fan of boxing and MMA.

Bloodsport is his thing, for obvious reasons.


He's so cold-blooded, shifts in the weather mean nothing to him.


Here's a photo from his 267th birthday, or as he'd like you to believe, his 43rd.


Is this wine tasting ... or blood?

The cheese is a great pairing, but we see right through the act.


A comparison of former co-stars only confirms our theory about Lopez.

Given all the time they spent together, it's a shock Lopez never sucked the blood of his "Saved By the Bell" cast mate. Clearly he's very particular about where he gets his nourishment from.


You'll never see him cooking with garlic or salt.

Those deadly toxins must be kept far, far away.


If Lopez was just four when "Grease" was released, how do you explain this?

He's been wooing women for God knows how long.


He's not always a sexy vampire; sometimes it's feeding time and things get ugly.

And downright terrifying. 


Every now and then he reconnects with an old girlfriend.

Seeing them age while he stays the same is pretty damn difficult.


Beware of the seductive stare, ladies.

Vampires are known for their charm, but too often it proves deadly. 


Proving he can be a peaceful vampire, he occasionally shows civility to lowly werewolves.


Alas, this throwback proves that his vampire status is no secret at all — the clues have been there from the very beginning.

Suspicions confirmed.


We're on to you, Mario!