photo: Getty images

In the words of Zayn Malik, Fashion Week is a "paradise and a war zone." The gorgeous outfits! The beautiful celebrities! And the shade. Oh, the shade. Below, check out the 24 craziest things we overheard at New York Fashion Week this year. And yes, these are all real things real people said. 

1. “Wait — since when is there food at Fashion Week?”

2. “Excuse me, Mr. [Nigel] Barker? Can you please take a picture with my dog?”

3. “Did you read her latest piece? I hate what she’s doing for the industry.”
“I know, she sounds exactly like me.”

4. “Kanye West is basically Donald Trump.”

5. “You look so healthy."
“Eww, are you saying I’m fat?”

6. “Have you found your wedding dress yet?”
“No, but I’m thinking separates — a skirt and a top, preferably pink ombré dip-dyed, à la Gwen Stefani. Oh! And my cat’s gonna be my ring bearer.” 

7. “Just dress like a hobo and you’ll still be photographed for your street style. They’ll just think you’re a blogger.”

8. “OMG, you’re dressed so cute. I knew there was a reason I’d want to talk to you.”

9. “I’m in a place where I’ve decided to be a total sellout. I even took a digital marketing class to teach me how.”

10. “You’re pretty enough. I’ll let you cut this way.”

11. “We were spooning and then I farted. His reaction was, ‘Well, that’s definitely a noise.’”
“He sounds like a keeper.”

12. “No! That girl’s NOT a makeup artist. She’s an Instagrammer.”

13. “No one showed up for the show. I was recruiting people off the streets to fill the seats.”

14. “Did you interview the designer with the turtles humping at his show?”

15. “I knew she was up to something, so I turned my shade to Instagram to call her out.”

16. “I just interviewed the head makeup artist on how to get the makeup look from today’s show, and the first thing he tells me is, ‘The makeup isn’t about the makeup,’ and I’m thinking, Then WTH am I even doing here?”

17. “The designer said he didn’t want to be associated with her body type.”

18. “She only has 5K Instagram followers. So what was she doing sitting next to us?”

19. “Remember that one Yeezy collection that looked like a bunch of spanx?”

20. “I’ve been going to Fashion Week since I was three years old.”

21. “It’s like, if you’re a celebrity, you don’t feel the cold. Or maybe that’s what their stylist is telling them.”

22. “Suddenly everyone wants to be my friend during Fashion Week because they know I get the best party invites. But no one likes me. It’s something my therapist and I are working through.”

23. “The higher the hair, the closer to God.”

24. “Why is there a picture of a girl in a thong in the VIP area?”
“Because it’s fashion.”