It's the holiday season, and with that comes a whole lot of socializing. Between the booze and coughing up the courage to start conversation with someone new, many folks tend to forget to think before speaking. In fact, it was just the other day a girlfriend of mine, who is half Puerto Rican, half African-American, vented to me about a crazy comment a non-Latino man made during small talk.
"Oh, you're Puerto Rican. I used to take salsa and cha-cha classes once."
After hearing about my friend being reduced to Latin dance steps, I couldn't help but think of some of the other annoying things I've been told or asked because I'm Latina, like if my family is legal or why I don't speak with an accent — ugh! With the new year rolling up soon, here are 18 things I don't want to hear about being Latina in the next year!
What are you?
I'm human. Hope that answered your question.
You're Dominican, so you must have grown up in Washington Heights, right?
No actually, I was born and raised in Queens. And I can count on one hand the amount of times I've actually hung out in the Heights.
Your family must be HUGE
Not really. My family is probably smaller than yours.
Oh, so then you're probably planning on having a big one than?
Did I say that?
Are your parents legal?
Did you seriously just ask me that?
Tell me something sexy in Spanish
I have no words for you. Not in English or Spanish.
Wait, you're Latina but not fluent in Spanish?
Since when does speaking fluent Spanish define how Latina you are?
Can you call me papi?
Oh, you're SO funny!
Where can I find a good authentic Dominican restaurant?
Are you not familiar with Yelp?
You don't act like a "typical Latina"
What does that even mean?
Can you teach me how to dance salsa?
Just because I'm Latina doesn't mean I know how to teach or even dance salsa.
Latinas are SO hot and spicy
Please don't describe me the way you would a bottle of Tabasco sauce. Thanks.
You look so Latina with red lipstick
Latinas are far from the only women out there that like to rock a red pout. Just saying.
You must be a great cook
God forbid you're Latina and don't know how to cook.
Teach me Spanish
Rosetta Stone would probably do a better job at that.
How is Dominican food different from Mexican food?
Wow. Just wow.
You're skinny for a Latina
We're not all built like Sofía Vergara.
You must love Bachata
It's actually not my favorite. Sorry, not sorry.