No matter how old you are, you're never too grown to experience the utter fear of saying or doing something that will set your mom OFF.
And if you grew up in a Latinx household, chances are that you'll never forget your first chancla experience — and every other one after that because mami has no mercy.
These are just some of the things that have made your Latina mom lose her shit — then and now because you still haven't learned your lesson.
Say "no" or talk back.
You see your life flash right before your eyes the moment the two-letter word comes out of your mouth because you know what's coming.
Get a tattoo.
Unless you want to be yelled at about how the devil has possessed you to "destroy your body," just hide it AT ALL COSTS.
Forget to take out the food from the refrigerator/freezer.
It will send her into a rage of epic proportions.
Walk around the house barefoot.
It turns into a lecture about this being the reason why you're always sick and how you're a pendeja/o for never learning.
Leave the lights off when you leave the house.
This guarantees you a smack behind the head — now everybody's going to rob you because they saw no one was home.
But God forbid you leave the lights on when you're in the house...
Tell her you can't find something.
That split-second evil stare she gives you that screams "if I find this I'm going to destroy you" is enough to make you almost pee yourself a little — and she didn't even say a word.
Say that you're bored.
JUST DON'T DO IT.
Roll your eyes at her.
Mami sees EVERYTHING.
Not help with the groceries.
We can already hear her saying "nadie me ayuda en esta casa" in that tone, even if you don't live with her anymore.
Eat "too much."
Or eat "too little."
There's no satisfying her, OK?!
Put a dish in the empty sink.
Her spidey senses tingle before that one fork makes it in and it's a wrap for you.
Judge her cooking.
Get mad at her for opening your mail.
This will start World War III.
Say that you're too busy to talk to her.
Do you want to be disowned?!
Be on the phone while you're in the same room as her.
She will take that phone.
Not picking up her phone call.
If you know, then you know.
Stepping over the area she just cleaned.
Just know that you're going to get hit with the broom, mop, or whatever other item she immediately has in her hands.
Laugh at her when she threatens you for doing or saying any of the above.
One word: RUN.