Editor's Note: The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of the author.
However, I like to think of myself as somewhat of a toy connoisseur. I don’t just put any old object into my chocha. And so when I first spotted the Bi Stronic Fusion Pulsator, a German monolith in a sea of silicone and latex, it seriously was lust at first sight. Its sleek, hand-crafted, G-spot-stimulating design instantly piqued my curiosity.
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The promise of being designed to fit snug inside my body and thrust me into ecstasy without the use my hands intrigued me. And the German engineering had me optimistic about it’s orgasmic potential, as Germans have a rep for being some of the kinkiest mofos on the planet. It was also 100 percent waterproof, rechargeable by USB, and totally BPA free . . . . So naturally I picked out a red one and took it home. Cause I’m worth it. And while Fun Factory has a line of these self-thrusting toys they call "pulsators," the Bi Stronic Fusion is the first to combine the thrusting motion with vibration and clitoral stimulation, which I found to be truly unique. So unique, in fact, that when I finally tried the toy two days later, I ran into a problem.
About two minutes into trying it out, my brain sort of blacked out over its intensity. I can barely recall a thing. But luckily, my vagina never forgets a visitor to the casa, and so I interviewed her to recall the details of the evening instead. Here’s her take on how it all went down:
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When I First Saw the BoxBitch better clear her schedule! I e-mailed Breonna as soon as she took the Bi Stronic toy out of the box. I deserved this. I earned this.You should know me well enough! PAY ME WHAT YOU OWE ME! She promptly replied back and gave me her Thursday night.
The First Two MinutesUm. Not gonna lie. Not what I expected. Not in a bad way, but dear God this thing is girth. And weight. And density (machine hard, not peen hard.) Also, instead of a head shaped like a penis, it’s curved upward to hit your G-spot, which I totally forgot to text G about before hand. She woke up by a straight silicone punch to the nose. She’s a trooper, though, and likes it a little rough, so she wasn’t too upset about the whole thing. But real talk, the first two minutes were an adjustment period. You really can’t just insert and enjoy the first time.
So Then We Applied LubeHee hee, hoooo. Okay, luckily there was some lube tucked under the bed (it’s not included), and finally got some relief. However, I could still see my girl scrambling to find a pulsating combination that would relieve the irritating feeling I was having. We are normally #teamexternal, and making clitoral stimulation happen with the pulsator shaft already inside you is tough: The external piece felt about an half inch too far away.
And so soon the clitoris started to get all whiney about not getting her fair share of play. And then the G-spot started to howl about getting too many direct punches to the face. And of course the brain, Officer Buzzkill, began to campaign it was all too much and that we should to call it quits. Something about blacking out and having no control. The odds of me finishing were quickly stacking against me.
Look Ma, No HandsThis whole time, she had been holding the device. Partially trying to find the right settings for me and also to figure out how to use the external part of the vibrator, the cobra head, as I like to call it. Because it’s spread wide, unlike a Rabbit vibrator, for instance, so it really stimulates the clit and the labia area. (Never had that before.) But when she pushed the pulsator all the way in, threw her hands in the air, and let the Bi Stronic love me like no peen, vibrator, hairy thigh, or three fingers has ever loved me before, I really felt the magic happen. This is how it was designed to be used.
I Let Go of Control and Found an OrgasmJust like most things in life, when I finally let go of my fear and control over the toy, the damn thing really worked. Two minutes later I finished in a flushed kinda sweat. And not in the way that can be done discreetly at your parents house or on vacation with your friends. There was moaning. Flip-flopping in bed. A full-body experience that surpassed 90 percent of the orgasms I’ve ever had. Even the external stimulator was in the right place, perfectly angled to thrust over the clit and make you finish hard. And the self-thrusting settings more gently grazed my G-spot now, and it felt like a tickle she couldn’t get enough of. BBHMOrgasm — this toy truly payed me what she owed me, times ten.
Final ThoughtsWith a price point of $219, this is definitely a pro kinda sex toy. It’s a far cry from the tiny bullets that hide in your night stand, but it's pretty hard argue that it’s not worth the extra bucks. Its body-safe silicone construction makes me instantly feel good about having it inside my body. And the settings that allow you to program a full session, if you can last that long, is truly enjoyable and convenient. And the product is warranted up to 10 years to be there when your vagina squad needs a hard fix. I say save up, lube up, and have a good time. It’s totally worth the splurge.
Breonna Rodriguez is a Founding Creator and love and relationships blogger. When she's not writing for Vivala.com, you can find her at zenfulie.com.