Ever since Beyoncé's visual album Lemonade aired
on HBO, the rumors that Jay Z cheated on her with "Becky with the good
hair" have continued to go around. Designer Rachel Roy (who denied the
rumor) and singer Rita Ora were even targeted by the BeyHive as the other woman. But one
thing Bey has made clear to her fans is that if Jay Z really was unfaithful,
she's forgiven him. At least that's what it looks like, especially after she
dedicated "Halo" to him during a Formation World Tour performance in Miami. But is
it ever okay to actually take back a cheater? Or are you just setting yourself up
for disaster? We spoke to a few experts who broke down everything you need to
know if you're thinking of giving your SO another chance.
2. Recognize that you CAN have a healthy relationship. But only if you both work hard at it. He needs to change, but you do as well. "You have to move past the emotional fall out of the betrayal and be willing to really dig in with respect to your individual issues," says certified personal and professional life coach, psychotherapist, relationship expert, and motivational speaker Linda F. Williams. "Many times, the person who is in the relationship with a cheater has work to do as well."
3. Consider the risks. It's important to note the risks that can come with taking a cheater back. "Beyond the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease, which is bad enough; there is always the chance that he will not change," says Williams. If he cheated once, he might cheat again.
4. Look for signs that he has actually changed. You want to observe if he's made any real, significant changes since the affair but also recognize that change is not something you'll necessarily see immediately. "It will not happen overnight. It takes some time if this type of change has occurred," says Williams. "Anybody can change for a short period of time. Sustainable change takes time, and only time will tell."
5. Get help. Communication and trust is key when giving a relationship another chance, but getting a therapist or relationship coach can help you two develop the skills you need to work things out. "Couples counseling can help, awareness, and willingness," says licensed marriage and family therapist Lisa Bahar.
6. Determine if its worth it. "It must feel worth the effort to you," says Wong. "Only you can know what you get out of being in a relationship with this person."