When it comes to our dating lives, there isn’t a Latina mom on the planet who wouldn’t love to be heavily involved in helping decide who her daughter does (or does not) go out with.
Yes, there are few things in life that make our moms happier than to find out we’re dating someone really great. And, it probably would be as equally enjoyable to share just how head over heels we are for this special new person, if only Mami didn’t want to know so much.
If your Latina mom is anything like mine, then you know the words, “I’m seeing someone” automatically volunteers you for a police-style investigation that will quickly burst your new relationship bubble, making it glaringly obvious that you may not actually know as much about your new S.O. as you initially thought.
That is, unless you do some thorough preparation.
Here are 14 questions you should definitely be ready to answer as soon as you tell your mom about your new boo.
How old is this person?
If they're a lot older or a lot younger, prepare for plenty of commentary. Nevermind your grandparents 12 year age difference. It's not relevant here.
Are they Latino?
Because this would make your abuela so happy.
Where are they from exactly?
Because whether or not your new boo is Latino, she's going to want a family tree drawn out.
They want to college, right?
You better have a good reason if your answer is no.
What line of work are they in?
Uh, was it finance? No wait, maybe it was engineering now that you think about it. Damn it, now you're going to have to ask again. Que pena.
You didn't meet online, did you?
"Porque eso me luce un poco peligroso."
Have they ever been married?
She doesn't know if she likes you with someone who believes in divorce. Your abuelos have been together for 55 years, remember?
Mami doesn't like the idea of being a step abuela.
Are they Catholic?
Although she might even say that it doesn't matter to her either way.
Have you met the circle of friends?
If you haven't, this could mean you're dealing with a cheater.
Do they speak Spanish?
Now that she think about it, you probably could use someone to practice with.
Why are they single?
Aren't most of the good ones taken at your age? "Cuidado con eso," she might say.
Are you already sleeping together?
She promises she won't judge.
When can they meet?
Because despite all the speculation, she's genuinely really excited for you.