Despite all their bravado and success stories of orgasms gone bonkers, there aren't many lovers who truly know how to throw it down in the bedroom — and even know the moves to maximize their own pleasure.
It's partially my fault, I admit. I mean when a hot man’s lips want to leave my neck, and trail down to taste my Almond Joy, who am I to change his mind? However, it’s when we allow that same ol', machista story play out in the bedroom, where the focus is all about his performance and less about stimulating his senses, slowing down his mind, and connecting to the spiritual energy that is his own sexual pleasure, we cheat ourselves of a better sex life and making him an even better lover.
Related From Vivala: Here's Why I Stay Sober When I Rock the Sheets
It turns out, men have several points along their body that are incredibly sensitive to touch, called erogenous zones — or, according to the word’s Greek origin, love-producing zones. Both sexes have them and many of them are the same. Perhaps you’ve already noticed some, where your touch somewhere random has made him gasp. And then suddenly your sex turns into something out of a scene from Zayn’s "Pillowtalk," where he pinned you down and devoured your body like never ever before.
What the hell happened? You probably hit one of his erogenous zones, heightening his sex drive and releasing a ton of endorphins that made him go bonkers on your ass. We do ourselves a great disservice when we look at our erogenous zones like a checklist, instead of a tool to increase our pleasure. If you ever want to have ama-Zayn-like sex again and again, check out these five zones that are sure to drive him wild.
1. The neck. A well-known erogenous zone, this area is an easy place you can take advantage of while you’re at dinner in front of your own mother, if you’re slick enough. But don’t just take the easy road out with kisses on his neck. Remember that your body is pulling super close to him every time you do this. See if you can ignite his other senses, like smell, and wear a signature scent that will heighten his arousal. Or combine it with a gentle caress his face, and put your knee between his legs. If you’re looking for an instant turn on, this is your move. But if you’re going to push this button, take full advantage of the experience you can create — the more senses you activate, the better.
2. The feet. Even the world’s most ticklish man might find the secret to his best orgasm yet lying within his tootsies. And while massaging or even kissing them could surely make him jizz a rainbow, even more subtle and consistent tactics can get him to melt into. Try aligning your bodies so your own feet do the work, like stroking the top of his foot with your very own toes. Or find ways to tangle them together, and lightly squeeze one foot between both of yours. And if you want to get super creative, studying reflexology can help you find the arousing pressure points you can play with. It’s often a very neglected area for men, and they almost never expect you to pay attention to it. But a little bit of love there goes a long way.
3. The perineum. I like to call this the little yellow brick road, tucked between his scrotum and anus, this little patch of skin is connected to strands of sensitive nerves that send unique signals of pleasure to the brain. Stimulating this area can be very simple and playful, without being too close to the mysteries of his back door, if that’s something that terrifies you (I’d also suggest you skip No. 5). For passive play, simple use one hand during foreplay to stroke his penis and place your thumb in his mouth. Once it’s sufficiently wet, slide your hand down between his legs, and use your wet thumb to lightly stroke the perineum area, while you squeeze just slightly harder while you stroke.
4. The brain. I’ve now dated two dudes who could only finish if you talked to them. Connecting to a dude’s imagination is an extra powerful tool, that will tap into a pleasure that not even the best lap dance could make happen. To get started, try something simple, like asking him to describe the last porn he watched. You can make a game of it and add a level of oral pleasure that stops as soon as he stops talking. When he is done, he’ll most likely want you to do to the same — and this is where you’ll really shine. The sound of your voice painting a sexy story mixing with the sounds of your pleasure while he finds your next orgasm, unless he’s an absolute prude, will drive him out of his mind and into a Zayn-level of heat immediately.
5. The anus. Recently, I heard a guy say, “I kinda like a little attention down there,” to which I waved my hands, rolled my eyes, and said, “Honey, most men do.” It’s a little sad but true: The back door is an incredibly sensitive sexual organ for men, yet most straight men don’t really know how to ask for it without having some sort of gender identity crisis. But the truth is, just like it feels good for you when he pops a finger in it, so is the same for your boo. The best way to get started — talk about it. Surprise popping in a digit while riding your guy is the quickest way to get your next sex injury, for sure. Come at it from a place of being curious for yourself. If he knows that you don’t really have a problem exploring that area of his pleasure, he’ll be more likely to admit to you his personal interest in the area.
Is there an erogenous zone that’s worked for you every time you’ve played with your boo? Share your sex tips below!