photo: Instagram/melaniemuntean.mua/maniademulher_94

If you are a makeup enthusiast, I can only assume that you are a lying succubus sent from a deep level of hell. After all, you clearly aren't a feminist, you hold society up to impossible standards, and (worst of all) you're innately deceptive.

I know what you're thinking: But how could something as innocent as makeup make me all of those terrible things?!  

Allow me to explain... 

1

You clearly do not value natural beauty.

2

You're probably supremely narcissistic if you take the time to do something for yourself that makes you feel good.

3

Makeup has no cultural significance and is just an evil Western oppressor.

4

You're a sexist monster, because it is unacceptable for men to wear makeup.

5

You don't look like a real person when you wear makeup.

6

You're probably insecure, since you wear it just to feel confident.

7

Just look at her, she is CLEARLY uncomfortable with herself and does this only to please society.

8

You conformist plebe! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!

9

You'll look like a freak if you paint colors on your face that wouldn't naturally occur there.

10

It's not like it can be artistic.

11

Or interesting.

12

Or remotely creative.

13

And the worst offense of all: You're LYING to your man (and the whole world TBH).

14

What is he going to do when he discovers your eyelids aren't made of sparkle?!

15

Or that your cheekbones are merely an illusion of color?!

16

Imagine how horrified he'll be when he realizes your lips aren't naturally purple.

A photo posted by @artistenoire on

17

Clearly you're a heartless demon.

18

One that was birthed from the fires of hell...

19

All because you woke up today and decided to do you. FOR SHAME!

20

JK, Y'ALL! We're just throwing shade at all the numbskulls who give us crap for wearing makeup, a totally wonderful, creative thing that you should do for you and no one else. Hope you enjoyed the sarcasm :)